Niceness...Timid or Aggressive?

Ever watch any sports?  I'm thinking of soccer or volleyball or basketball at the moment...even though hockey is really my favorite sport. 

Think about how players play those sports.  Those  who hang back get trampled. Hockey is not bowling.  With bowling, you get the whole lane to yourself for your moment in play.  Hockey has a different definition of  lane. 

All those sports, including bowling and some others, require an aggressiveness on the part of the participant.  Ever see a timid bowler?   They wind up waiting patiently for their ball to ka-chunk its way slowly down to bump the pins and slide to the gutter.  They don't score well. 

Timid hockey players are left behind as are timid soccer and basketball atheletes.  They watch the play move away from them.  Wise players follow the play and do so aggressively meaning  with intention and speed.  It is even worse for the timid volleyball player.  You get elbowed, flattened, and trampled...I know ... I am the ultimately timid volleyballer.

Niceness is a good quality. But timid niceness never gets seen.  Timid niceness is the internal thought that never has a "thank you" fall out the mouth.  Timid niceness is a shy smile at someone in a wheel chair who is having trouble negotiating the cafeteria line. The person knows you understand and appreciate that you aren't pushing them out of the way to get ahead of them in line.  But niceness could do more!

I like to teach about "aggressive niceness" which is, simply, a niceness that has enough courage behind it to  allow it to  be seen.  With "aggressive niceness" you actually become a player on the court of life for the niceness team.  You are in the game and making plays. 

Timidity is a modern curse disguised as "minding your own business" for most of us.  We don't want to be pushy or overbearing.  We certainly don't want to be aggressive in a negative sense. 

Remember The Good Samaritan?  Now there was a guy who practiced "aggressive niceness" far better than the other folks in the story. He will always be remembered for that. 

Each day, life presents us  with an opportunity or two where we could flex our "niceness muscles" but for most of us it would take practice.  Put away that timid spirit for just a day or two and you might find there are great rewards for simple "niceness" well exercised.